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Editor: Duane Bates

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December 2009

The Voice of Sanity

THE NEWSLETTER OF THE UPSTATE S.C. SECULAR HUMANISTS

                 Visit our web-site for current and back-issues at: www.uscsh.org

                                  e-mail:  secularhmnst@aol.com   

 

 

CALENDAR

 

 

Our January brunch will be on January 9th  at Denny's Restaurant, 2521 Wade Hampton Blvd, Taylors at 10:30 a.m.

There will be no meetings in December. Our next meeting will be the January brunch. 

 

 

 

Secular Humorist

 

As the time of  the 2009 Christmas holiday season approaches, it seems appropriate to reproduce in this issue of the Voice of Sanity the following dialog between Mary and Joseph, which appeared in George Carlin’s 2004 book, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops (New York: Comedy Concepts, Inc.).

 

THE CONTINUING STORY OF

MARY & JOSEPH: ‘IT’S A BOY’

 

MARY:  Joe, we’re gonna have a baby.

JOE:  What?  That’s impossible.  All I ever do is put it between your thighs.

MARY:  Well, I don’t know. Something must’ve gone wrong.

JOE:  Who says you’re pregnant?

MARY:  An angel appeared to me in the backyard and said so.

JOE:  An angel?

MARY:  An angel of God.  His name was Gabriel.  He had a trumpet and

               he appeared to me in the backyard.

JOE:  He what?

MARY:  He appeared to me.

JOE: Was he naked?

MARY:  No.  I think he had on a raincoat.  I don’t really know.  He was

               glowing so brightly.

JOE:  Mary, you’re under a lot of stress.  Why don’t you take a few days off

          from the shop.  The accounts can wait.

MARY:  I’m telling you, Joe.  This Angel Gabriel said that God wanted me

               to have his baby.

JOE:  Did you ask for some sort of sign?

MARY:  Of course I did.  He said tomorrow morning I’d start getting sick.

JOE:  But why should God want a kid?

MARY:  Well, Gabriel said that according to Luke it’s kind of an ego thing.

                Plus, he promised the Jews a long time ago, it’s just that he never

                got around to it.  But now that he feels ready for children he

                doesn’t want to just make them out of clay or dust.   He wants to

                get humans involved.

JOE:  Well, is he going to help toward raising the kid?  God knows we can’t

          do it alone.  I could use a bigger shop, and maybe he could throw a

          couple of those nice crucifix contracts my way.  The Romans are

          nailin’ up everything that walks.

MARY:  Honey, Gabriel said not to worry.  The kid would be a real winner.

               A public speaker and good with miracles.

JOE:  Well, that’s a relief.  Anyway, I guess now that you’re officially

          pregnant I can start puttin’ it inside you.

MARY:  I’m sorry, honey.  God wants it to be strictly a virgin birth.

JOE:  I don’t get it.

MARY:  That’s right, Joe.

JOE:  Don’t I get to do anything?

MARY:  He wants you to come up with a name for the kid.

JOE:  Jesus Christ!

MARY:  Joe, you’re so heavy.

 

To all Upstate South Carolina Secular Humanists and all readers of the Voice best wishes for peace, less violence and a more just and sane 2010!

Secularly yours,

R. Georges Delamontagne

 

 

 

And now on a more serious side:

 

                                                 December 25th

 

The choice of December 25th as Christmas day has always gone without verification or reference to any ancient birth document.  In fact, the year of the birth of Christ has been problematic enough without venturing into speculation on the actual day or time of year. The first record of December 25th as a Christmas celebration appears at about the 4th century AD. At that time it was coordinated with the Roman Saturnalia celebrations and recorded in the “Philocalian Calendar”, a Roman almanac.

 

The Saturnalia was an important celebration, but it was not a birthday. It was a series of three to five feast days starting on December 17th. These days were dedicated to the harvest god Saturn and featured the giving of gifts and lighting of candles. It was a happy time and even some slaves received special compensations.

 

There was another birthday celebration, though. This was the rebirth of the sun god Mithra. Mithraism had several similarities to Christianity. Both religions contained concepts of heaven and hell, a historical flood, a last judgment, a eucharist (last supper) and each had a “Sun” day as a day of rest. Its priests were called magi. This religion was widespread in the Roman Empire and was practiced from India to the British Isles. It had its origins in India and can be traced as far back as 2500BC.

 

Some speculate that the date of the 25th might have been the ancient date of the solstice, but the ancients were too skilled to make such a mistake. We have the monuments at Stonehenge and Newgrange in the British Isles to confirm this. Newgrange is especially noteworthy because it contains a chamber that is only lit by the sun from the 19th thru the 23rd of December.

 

 It was change to the Gregorian calendar that finally put the solstice date at the 21st in the year 1582. Our Gregorian calendar is the same as the Julian except there is a provision to correct the 11 ½ minutes lost by the Julian each year. For those interested in the math of it, the provision omits leap years in even numbered turn of the century years not divisible by 400. For example, the year 2000 would have a leap year, but the years 1800 and 1400 would not because they are not divisible by 400. This correction pulled accuracy to within 26 seconds of the solar year and made it mandatory for anyone using the new calendar to advance 10 days in time all at once. Not everyone did. Latecomers to the new calendar were Britain (1752), Russia (1918), and Greece (1923).

 

There is no real proof connecting the birth of Christ with the solstice. However, it’s quite possible that the differences between Julian, and Gregorian calendars have resulted in the mix up in dates. The fact that the December 25th date appeared in the 4th century AD places it very close to what would have been a four day shift in time in the Julian calendar for the winter solstice.

 

So it seems we have taken the aspects of all the celebrations and dates and combined them into the Christmas we have today. All, that is, except the Puritans who wanted to make it a day of penance, and actually succeeded in having it outlawed in certain places in America from the early 17th to the mid 19th century.

 

Anyway, it’s a good excuse to celebrate, and commercial or not it’s a good time to enjoy. Happy holidays, everyone.

 

Joyce Bates